Mentorship works best when the mentee steers. Mentors who are handed an open "so, what do you want to talk about?" tend to fill the silence with generic advice; mentees who arrive with a real question get something they couldn't have found on their own. These are the ten that consistently produce the best sessions.
About the work itself
- What did you actually do last week? Not the job description — the tickets, the meetings, the thing that went wrong on Thursday. This is the most honest picture of a role you will ever get.
- What part of your job would surprise someone outside it? Usually the answer is how much of it is writing, talking to people, and waiting.
- What do you wish you'd learned earlier? The answer is almost never a technology.
About your own direction
- Given what you know about me, what would you focus on next? This forces specific advice instead of general advice.
- What's the gap between where I am and an entry-level role? Ask for it plainly. Most mentors will soften bad news unless you make clear you want it straight.
- Is this project good enough to show an employer, and if not, what would make it so? Bring the actual project.
About getting in
- What makes you say yes to a junior candidate? If your mentor has ever interviewed anyone, this is the highest-value question on the list.
- Which parts of a job posting are real requirements and which are wishes? The answer will change how you apply.
- Who else should I be talking to? A mentor's network is often the most valuable thing they have, and most are happy to introduce you if you ask.
And one for the end of every session
- What should I have done by the time we next meet? Leave with one concrete task. Come back having done it. Nothing builds a mentor's investment faster.
A mentor can only meet you where you are if you tell them where that is.
A note on the awkwardness
Almost every mentee is worried about wasting their mentor's time or looking ignorant. Both fears are backwards. Mentors volunteer because they want to be useful, and a question you're embarrassed to ask is usually the one that unblocks you. Ask it early in the session, while you still have the nerve.
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Writes about getting into IT without a map. Mentors young people in Alpharetta, GA and online.
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