A parent's guide to supporting a kid who's into tech

Parents ask me some version of this constantly: "I don't understand any of what she's doing — how am I supposed to help?" You don't need to understand the code. Almost everything that makes a difference is non-technical.

1. Ask them to explain it to you

The single most useful thing you can do costs nothing. Ask what they're working on and let them talk until they run out. Explaining a technical thing to a non-technical listener is how understanding gets consolidated — teachers call it retrieval practice, and your kid gets it for free just because you asked. Your confusion is a feature. Keep asking "why does that matter?"

2. Let them break things

Learning IT requires a machine the learner is allowed to ruin. If the family computer is off-limits, that's reasonable, but then find them something that isn't: an old laptop, a Raspberry Pi, or just a virtual machine on the existing computer that can be deleted and rebuilt at will. A young person who is afraid of breaking something will never experiment, and experimenting is the whole method.

3. Know the difference between consuming and creating

Six hours in front of a screen can mean very different things. Watching videos is consuming. Building a mod, writing a script, configuring a server, or losing an evening to a bug is creating. It's fine to have limits on screen time — just make sure the limits distinguish between the two, because the second kind is closer to piano practice than to television.

4. Take the unpaid work seriously

Open source contributions, a personal project, a Discord bot for their friends, helping their school with the network — none of it pays, and all of it is the portfolio that gets a first job. Treating it as a hobby that competes with "real" work is the most common way well-meaning parents slow their kids down.

5. Say the discouraging part out loud

Everyone in this field spends significant time stuck, confused, and convinced they're the only one who doesn't get it. Young people frequently read that feeling as proof they aren't cut out for it. Tell them — ideally before it happens — that being stuck is the normal state of the work, not a signal to quit. It's the single most protective thing you can say.

6. Find them someone in the field

At some point they'll have questions you can't answer: which certification, which course, whether university is necessary, how to prepare for an interview. That's not a failure on your part; it's just outside your knowledge. A mentor who works in IT can answer those in one conversation.

You don't have to be their teacher. You have to be the person who makes sure they don't stop.

Our mentoring is free, mentors are background-checked, and parents or guardians are welcome at any session. If that would help your family, get in touch.